I used to have a life...an amazing, fun, fabulous life.(Thats the mommy statement of the year, isn't it? Yes kids - Mommy actually had her own life before becoming caretaker/cook/chauffeur/maid....). I was a professional dancer. I performed, I choreographed, I taught. It wasn't a job...it was...me. Eat, breathe, dance....ask any dancer. I couldn't imagine a day that didn't involve dance class or rehearsal. Dancing was (& is) my passion - especially ballet (hence the name for this blog!) Dance has always been the 1 consistency in my life. When my mother passed away, when my father passed away...when I was depressed...I always danced.
Then one day I woke up & realized that although I loved dancing & couldn't imagine my life without it - I wanted more. My husband & I talked...& talked....& talked. Was I really ready to give up my 1st love, my passion, my dreams? Was I really ready to become a mother? Did I even know how to be a mother? My mother passed when I was 10. I had 2 wonderful aunts who stepped in & were like mothers to me but was that enough? As a dancer your performance career is limited - you have to be a little selfish. Was I too selfish to be a mother?
That was 4 years ago. We now have 2 beautiful little girls - a 3 yr old & a 1 yr old. I cannot imagine my life without them. They are the most precious gift I have ever been given. I am lucky enough to be able to stay home with them & also teach dance 2 days a week. It hasn't been easy....financially or emotionally. I said before dancing was as much a part of me as breathing. To not have that in my life on a daily basis has been a difficult adjustment. I defined myself as a dancer ... What was I without it?
This has been a difficult year. As I come to the end of it I can see a light at the end. I realize that although my performing career may be over I can move on to the next chapter of my life. I am finding new things about myself, I am doing things (like this blog) that I never thought I would do. I will always be a dancer in my heart & soul....& hopefully I will pass this love onto my daughters & maybe even some of you.....
Yes kids...Mommy still is a dancer......& still has that amazing, fun, fabulous life........